Once upon a time...

Once upon a time in a land far, far away
There lived a penguin called Jenn, who was purple.
Jenn was a feisty, girly penguin known to sing opera.
Her favourite opera was the marriage of Figaro.
Jenn was sad that there were no opera houses available for purple penguins.
But she did have an iceberg which was regularly frequented by migrating puffins.
They were all slim effeminate former boy band members.
They were former boy band members because they had split up over artistic differences.
One puffin, Archibald, was particularly sweet on Jenn.
He would often shower Jenn with flowers.
The other puffins were quite jealous as they were afraid Archibald would begin to sing only opera to impress her.
One puffin, Mike, even considered flying a helicopter over the singing to spoil the performance.
Fortunately, his plans were unnecessary, since Archibald had no intention of singing opera.
This news disappointed Jenn, as she was hoping they would perform a duet together.
Suddenly, her fairy godmother, a fruit bat named Hermione appeared, startling Jenn.
"Hello Jenn the penguin", she said. "I bring you great news!"
Jenn was intrigued as she had never seen a polka dotted fruit bat before.
"Have you never seen a polka-dotted fruit bat before?" asked Hermione.
Jenn blushed as it appeared Hermione could read her thoughts, which was troubling.
After Jenn had composed herself, she asked what the great news was.
"Why your former husband, that pigeon with a toupee, has been found alive!"
"Eric's alive!" shouted Jenn. "I thought he had spontaneously combusted in that accident with the oven cleaner!"
"No dear, you were afraid you'd be caught since it was you who put the TNT into the oven" Hermione scolded.
"That was all Mike's idea!" replied Jenn. "I'm just a penguin!"
At that accusation, Mike flew into the room yelling, "I told you she'd try to blame me!"
Hermione was disgusted. "You'd try and blame innocent effeminate boy bands?"
From beneath her wing, Hermione produced a badge, "I'm with the ABI and you're under arrest!"
As Jenn was being led away, the puffins called after her, "Don't worry, we'll make a charity single called 'Free Jenn'!".
Jenn was taken away to the nearest animal penitentiary, also known as the zoo.
"Some fairy god-mother you are!" complained Jenn to Hermione.
"I was undercover you twit."

(Red lines by Thia. Blue lines by Bill. This document was created using Google's Writely service with its collaboration facility.)